A few weeks ago I started a draft. I was wondering where all the animals go that I’ve met living here. The ones I’ve fed, scratched and gave attention to. The deer is gone, the raccoon is gone, the fox, the blue jay but mostly the little cat that adopted me. One of my very first posts on this blog, A Cat Will Find Me, had me thinking. Where do they go? Did they die? Move with their family? They disappear as fast as they appear. The little dirty orange cat first met me on my back porch. I opened the window and she jumped. We startled each other. She was hesitant to let me pet her at first. She walked close and let her tail run through my hand. She turned and head butted my leg, then we were buddies for life. She greeted me before and after work. She knew the sound of my car and would come out of nowhere when I came home. She was such a buddy I had cat treats ready for her. I didn’t want her in my house so I pitched them on the porch away from the door. After a while the greetings grew farther apart. I thought maybe because it was getting cooler. Then I realized it’s been almost a year since I seen her. It’s been almost a year that I’ve seen any of the animals, really. But, this morning I get up early, like 4:00 am. I open the windows to let in the cool air then do my morning routine. The kitchen exhaust fan was on and I had the water running to make coffee. I thought I heard a cat’s meow but didn’t really pay attention. As the early morning went on I couldn’t stay awake and fell asleep in my chair. Once again I heard a cat clear enough it woke me up. The sun was just coming up so I opened the curtains and hear the loudest cat yell I think I’ve ever heard. I don’t see anything so I went outside. Who do I find?
I wasn’t sure it’s her, I’m still not sure. She’s really clean and a lighter color. She was reluctance to let me pet her but when I did she felt delicate. The scar on her nose isn’t there. It’s kind of a coincidence another cat almost identical would have been on my back porch waiting to meet me. Through out the day I heard her yelling out back, I would answer with my cat sound I make. We would go back and forth a few times until she stopped answering.
Just woke up from my Saturday afternoon nap and it’s like I just left another reality. Denise, my first real girlfriend when I was growing up, had contacted me. She was one of the last people I had ever spoken to from my youth. We said hi to each other for the brief time I was on Facebook. Then, like everything else, I ended it. But this dream was sad. We weren’t speaking but were communicating. We even did this when we dated way back in high school. The dream colors were white lights and blue contrasts. Everything around us was box shaped and organized and the higher it went the more shades of pink came out. But like I said, this was a sad occasion for her, to me. When she stood up she turned and walked away. I noticed a large lump on her back just under her neck with a smaller one to the right. They were a greenish color and didn’t look good. I don’t know if that’s what the dream was about. I hope she’s doing O.K. She lost her daughter in a house fire and I always wondered how her life had been after that. But, like everything else, I ended it.
I do my grocery shopping early on Sunday mornings because humans gathered in an enclosed area lose their freakin’ minds. I’m usually there between 6:00 and 7:00 am, it varies. It’s not scheduled. But there’s a lady who shows up every time after I’ve walked in. It’s like seconds after I’ve grabbed a cart and the doors open and she’s right behind me getting a shopping cart. We don’t walk in together, I’ve never seen a car she could have gotten out of and this is Sunday morning when there’s very few cars in the parking lot. We never talk as we pass each each other several times in the aisles, in fact we rarely have looked at each other. What I have noticed is she always wears the same black uniform type outfit with a rust colored shirt under it. The same Aisics tennis shoes and every thing looks like she just bought it. She doesn’t have a smell or a sound, her skin is really light and pale but her hair is almost jet black to where it reflects blue in the lighting. When I go to check out there’s never a cashier with a register open so I have to use the self-scan area that I hate. Except today there’s a cashier I’ve never seen before who appears from between racks of shit at check-out #7 asking if I’m ready, so I jump on that service. As I’m watching these two dudes scan and bag the hell out of my stuff, behind me is this lady. She’s unloading her cart of a few items and oblivious to anything around her. I wanted to say hi to her, she was right there two feet away, which isn’t normal for me to do. After she put her last item on the conveyor her eyes locked onto her groceries. I looked back a few times before I left and noticed her eyes. There wasn’t any whites to them…
I walk past my storage shed at least once a week. Today I notice this snake hanging off the latch. It’s pretty dried out like it’s been there a while. I’m curious how it got up that high and just died there.