reason’s from the past


While I draw these, voices from my past come back to haunt me. They’re the reason I am who I am today. They’re the reason for the dislike I have for them. They’re the reason I’ll never get close to anyone. They’re the reason you will be kept at a distance. They’re the reason for a lot of things I use to blame myself for. Their words, their actions, they’ve made me the happiest person no one will ever see.



visited at my drawing table

I’ve sat here for the last three hours drawing the letter “L”. Classic rock coming from what was 181.FM The Eagle on the internet. I think that’s what it was, it might still be. Led Zeppelin was playing Kashmir. Every time I hear Kashmir I think of the 5 Point Plan. Once again the cup full of brushes in front of me click. This happened the last time my visitors stopped by. I stopped for a moment, listening, waiting. Precisely at the same time a cool swirl of air circles across my face I hear what sounded like an 8-bit female voice say what sounded like “davit ignorients unce”. I could feel the sound directly in front of me, loud and clear this time. Slowly I grabbed my phone and stepped back snapping two photo’s at my drawing table. As usual nothing appears


Although I’m alone right now, I can very much feel others here with me. I haven’t paid much attention to my spirit visitors for a while. Maybe they have something to tell me tonight.

Drawing Attention

Something about sitting at my drawing table feels like it attracts a presence. While I’m drawing, my small crowd gathers. I thought this would be a good place to set my new devices. My old camera records video but it has to be set up each time and doesn’t record long even with a 64gb flash drive and a new battery. The EMF reader does pick up electrical fields. I’ve walked around the house and put it to outlets, ceiling fans and the air conditioners. It does work. The digital voice recorder picks up everything. Just the few minutes I had it running it was difficult to distinguish background noises with body movements.

The EMF reader has been on my desk for a few days. On Wednesday evening I checked everything around my table to see if it put off a reading. Both lamps, which are the closes, didn’t pick up anything. I set the meter down and forgot to turn it off. A few minutes into trying out colors on a drawing the meter flickered. It was two small lights and beeps. They weren’t chattering and I’m pretty sure it was the first male, the older man. As usual he took his spot on my left side. On Thursday, my day off, I tried it again. A few minutes into the drawing and the EMF flickered. This was around 11am, the night before it was in the evening around 7pm. There’s no set time. Saturday afternoon around 2:30ish I set it up again. Nothing was going on the entire time. That was good because I was concentrating and got things done. I sat back to see if that’s what I wanted. Staring at the picture, instantly to the right directly in front of me a transparent wave of air about 5′ up. The EMF makes one loud solid beep and the light turns full glowing red. I sat and watched for a moment. Nothing.

Today I’m going to complete a drawing. Everything will be set up and waiting.

Drawing Attention


14_2_rs copyI’ve got to the point where I can shut out most of the back ground chatter when I get into my mode. Instead of a filled room I can focus on the few nearest me. I do get the occasional background that comes forward. The dominant female is still the most vocal but is shadowed. The original dominant male has been taken over by the minor male. He’s quiet but makes his presence known. Mumbling and throat clearing. He appears in my minds eye as thin and tired. Balding and wears wire rimmed glasses. A messy long sleeved button up shirt with the arms rolled. He also seems to be from the 1940’s era. His watch is expensive for that time.

14note copy The female and male aren’t as vocal this time. I kept going just to listen. They don’t seem to like each other and are only brought together through me. As the female spoke I kept notes on the back of the drawing. A friend “Barb or Brenda” has or will pass away. “Animal attack” may or may not be associated with that. The color “White” I picked up in a sentence the female said. “I nenna white knockba shof”. Finally “I know that she’s gone” was the female arguing with the male. Also, a fragrance of cherry’s came through. What it reminded me of was Fanta Red Cream Soda which I haven’t had since I was a kid. If they still make it, try one.

#12 (color)

12_rs_AB copy

There wasn’t anyone to my left this time. I heard a door shut. It was realistic enough to make me stop and listen. I can still picture the female shadowed with a red back ground. This time she spoke in English. Two words, “My daughter”.

Someone new is coming in. He doesn’t like the Minor male. Call’s him a racist. He knows my middle name and says it in a mechanical voice. Robotic. These two are almost identical in appearance.

The man in the field has passed away. He was beaten or shot and left to die. He suffered. He’s wearing a white or tan suit not far off the road. A lady knows about him.


12_rs_A2 copy copy

It was cold out today. I stayed in all day and it felt like I wasn’t alone. Going back up to my drawing, it was time to see who’s with me. The female. She came through fast and seems agitated. She’s very vocal but speaks too fast. She’s not in English this time, that doesn’t help. I even said “What?” out loud, to get her to repeat herself. I wrote down what I heard and I’m spelling it how it sounds. Remember, this isn’t in English, Maybe German. I think…
“were hoben kinna tight”

I haven’t added color to this drawing yet. Hopefully they’re just as vocal.