where do they go

A few weeks ago I started a draft. I was wondering where all the animals go that I’ve met living here. The ones I’ve fed, scratched and gave attention to. The deer is gone, the raccoon is gone, the fox, the blue jay but mostly the little cat that adopted me. One of my very first posts on this blog, A Cat Will Find Me, had me thinking. Where do they go? Did they die? Move with their family? They disappear as fast as they appear. The little dirty orange cat first met me on my back porch. I opened the window and she jumped. We startled each other. She was hesitant to let me pet her at first. She walked close and let her tail run through my hand. She turned and head butted my leg, then we were buddies for life. She greeted me before and after work. She knew the sound of my car and would come out of nowhere when I came home. She was such a buddy I had cat treats ready for her. I didn’t want her in my house so I pitched them on the porch away from the door. After a while the greetings grew farther apart. I thought maybe because it was getting cooler. Then I realized it’s been almost a year since I seen her. It’s been almost a year that I’ve seen any of the animals, really. But, this morning I get up early, like 4:00 am. I open the windows to let in the cool air then do my morning routine. The kitchen exhaust fan was on and I had the water running to make coffee. I thought I heard a cat’s meow but didn’t really pay attention. As the early morning went on I couldn’t stay awake and fell asleep in my chair. Once again I heard a cat clear enough it woke me up. The sun was just coming up so I opened the curtains and hear the loudest cat yell I think I’ve ever heard. I don’t see anything so I went outside. Who do I find?

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I wasn’t sure it’s her, I’m still not sure. She’s really clean and a lighter color. She was reluctance to let me pet her but when I did she felt delicate. The scar on her nose isn’t there. It’s kind of a coincidence another cat almost identical would have been on my back porch waiting to meet me. Through out the day I heard her yelling out back, I would answer with my cat sound I make. We would go back and forth a few times until she stopped answering.

 

 

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a cat will find me

At work we use a service called TeleTime to clock in and out. At the end of the day I was in my car warming it up waiting to clock out. I noticed a movement to my left and there’s this cat. He’s just laying in the cold grass, it was only about 39 degree’s out and you can see spotty snow in the grass behind him. I’ve never seen him around here before. I don’t know if this is normal cat behavior or if something meaningful is attached to it. I just found it strange and something I’ve never seen before.

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phone photo

I was looking for a picture I took today on my phone. Another one I don’t remember ever taking, let alone know what it is. I’ve enlarged it but still couldn’t figure out what it is. There appears to be cat eyes in the dark area, with a light reflection off it’s eye. It also looks like it is wedged in behind something. I have no idea what the red and white area is, either. It was taken on December 21, 2015 at 8:46 pm (20.46.13) I’ve turned it in other directions but I can’t figure out what it is.

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Shadow Birds

Walking through the park today, a dog pulling it’s owner came up to me. We’ve said hello before in passing. We stopped and talked a few moments about the holidays. It’s not a subject I care to talk about but the dog seemed content with me giving her attention. As we talked, something I’ve seen countless times flash in front of me, a shadow bird. The dog reacted to it but the gentleman seemed unphased like nothing happened. As if he didn’t see anything. The dog’s eyes moved as she watched it disappeared. She opened her mouth for a breath and nudged my hand for more attention.

I’ve never read anything about shadow birds. There’s a lot of literature on shadow people. It’s common knowledge. But the birds, I’ve seen this flash inside the house as well as outside. I’ve heard birds as much as I’ve heard the spirit chatter. The few times it’s happened directly in front of me, it was definitely an opaque black bird. I’ve had experiences with birds. Sparrows come around me a lot. Like I’m a curiosity to them. They’ve walked up to me and what seemed like I was being studied. They’ve landed on my deck handrail and watched as I stared back at them. Here at my new place, the back patio attracts them around the privacy fence where they watch me through the window.

I’ve only owned one bird. A white parakeet. It would sit on the outside of it’s cage and go back in to eat. Rarely did it leave it’s perch on the top of the cage. If I got up it made all kinds of noises and flapped around. On a Saturday afternoon it was sunny and warm. The front door was open letting in the midwinter sun. The parakeet flew directly into the glass storm door and landed lifeless on the rug. Coldheartedly I picked it up, wrapped it in paper towels and threw it away. Around this time, mid 1980’s, the flashes started. It took a few years until I realized the connection.

A lady I dated had a parrot. He was housed in a huge cage. When I would come over to her place the parrot would puff up the feathers on his head and raise his wings. This was followed by loud screaming that wouldn’t stop until I left. She said he only does that when I come around. I tried to feed him to show I’m friendly but if I got up to the cage he jumped to the bottom and hid in the back.

Some of the other experiences I’ve had with birds are the owl and falcon. The woods behind me have a deer trail I decided to follow. Once back a ways I found a clearing and sat on a log to get the burr’s off me. The overwhelming feeling of being watched created a mild form of paranoia to set in.  Looking around as I cleaned up there wasn’t anything or anyone. That’s until I stood up and looked directly into the eyes of a well camouflaged owl sitting in the tree in front of me. The huge yellow eyes glared straight back into my eyes. I looked down to walk back out and as I made my way into the woods the owl seemed to relax in a non-offensive stance. I turned to look and he returned my glance before fading back into his tree.

The falcon came out of nowhere.  The trees where I use to live had grown over the sidewalks. The shaded walks made it a nice place in summer sun. Rarely did I ever see my neighbors which made a morning walk very quiet and peaceful. On occasion I would see the falcon perched on the peak of the roof, he would fly off effortlessly. One morning on my walk I saw a bird in the distance, the sun reflecting off it as it got closer I could tell it was the golden color of the falcon.  Flying lower than I’ve ever seen him, he flew under the cover of the shade trees following the sidewalk. Once under the trees his wings didn’t move once. He glided directly over me in a deafening silence. Not once did he look at me as he passed over my head. He reached the end of the shade trees and like smoke he faded upwards out of sight.

Visit From My Old Cat

Sunday morning the Blue Jay was going crazy outside. I looked at the clock and it was 3:20 am. Even being half asleep I thought it was strange the Blue Jay was making that much noise that early in the morning. I started to fall back to sleep. The bed did a slight bump and I waited to see who was near me. I could feel little paws walking at the foot of my bed. Stinky, my old cat, visits me from time to time even though he was put to sleep several years ago. I could feel him between my ankles kneading my leg. He always put his left paw in front of the right one. I could hear his purr. stink_2Slowly I turned to look at him, trying not to scare him off. He stared back at me. His purr got louder and deeper as he looked straight into my eyes. I could only see his head down to the top of his front shoulders, everything else was just the light from the T.V. I said, “Hey little buddy, how you been”. He kept kneading and began to lay between my legs. He disappeared into the light and blanket but his purring went on until I fell back to sleep.

Dream In Hindsight

Last night I had this crazy vivid dream. I was under a dog fight. At the bottom of the pile of a group of dogs tearing at each other. It was the sound that stayed with me. The faces and features of the dogs weren’t there but it was their paws. Fighting opened paws with knife-like claws hitting around me. I don’t know if I stopped breathing but I woke up needing air. Sitting on the side of my bed the only thing I said was “Damn”. I checked my phone messages and sat there a few minutes until I had to go back to sleep.

Pulling into the parking lot at work, I’m thinking of this dream. Mostly the sounds of it. The sound of wild dogs fighting to the death and the metallic clang’s of their claws. As I walk in, there’s a piece of blue plastic on the floor in the foyer. Like everyone before me I walked past it, too. I saw several more on my way back to my office. I get off the elevator and there’s more of these strange pieces of blue plastic. The hall lighting isn’t real bright and the carpet is dark blue. To me these things looked like plastic wall anchors. These are all elderly residents and I just thought they dropped them and couldn’t pick them up. I grabbed an envelope to put them in. The first two were grouped. It was the third one up against the wall I couldn’t pick up because of the rubber gloves. I gave it a flip to get it away from the wall. I reached over to grab it and felt a searing sting go deep into my thumb. I pulled back and the plastic piece was hanging off my thumb. Pulling it off I found it had a ¼ needle at the tip if the plastic.

We gathered up the Workmans Comp papers and I was off to the Urgent Care. By the time I got there my thumb had a red bump on it. They took my blood work, and told me the pieces I picked up are for diabetics to get blood samples. We’re not sure who dropped them. Now I have to wait for the first blood test results. I’m be checked for HIV and Hepatitis the next 10 months. This is real freakin’ great. I dodged the Claws in my dream but I was hit in real life by a dirty needle.