Mom’s Dream

Circa 1981:

After my mother passed away my whole world fell apart. There was no one to encourage me again. She brought me out of my shell and had faith in me. She stood up for me when the dog ran at us. She told my baseball coach not to talk to me the way he did. She told the Cub Scout leaders that my pinewood derby car was made by a 9 year old kid and not by a grown up. Most of all she knew I was an artist, the last Christmas we spent together she gave me an easel and a complete oil painting set up. It was the most cherished thing I ever received.  It was odd my first painting was a clock. The time was 10:35, it was just a random time I chose.

The morning she passed away, I sat and waited for my ride to school to show up. When he drove up, I just sat in the chair. He waited and left when I didn’t come out. Babe, our dog sat next to me. She was never was close because I use to torment her. But this morning, we sat together. At 10:30 I heard my father cry, he came down stairs and told me to say good bye to my mother. I touched her hand and gave her a kiss. I watched through my bedroom window as the hearse took her away. My friend Donny drove by and I remember him looking up. About that time my little brother came in and said dad wants us to go buy a suit.

After a while I tried to go back to normal. I didn’t go out any more. I only went back to school just to graduate and get it over with. During the summer and into winter I lost two jobs, just couldn’t concentrate. I lost all my will to go on. The death of my mother was the death of me, I started drinking and doing drugs to sedate myself.

Almost a year later, I slowed down on the self-medicating. I was getting my mind straight. Instead of passing out, I was getting normal sleep. Then, my dream. I thought it was a dream but it was so real I remember the colors, the breeze, the sounds, everything. I was talking to my mom. We were in the back yard near the clothes line post. She was a misty cloud but I could make out it was her. I noticed her arms were missing, it didn’t matter. The most memorable thing was she said everything’s O.K. and she’s alright. It was a weight lifted off me. I didn’t feel as lost and sad. I started cleaning myself up. Never fully recovered mentally, but I’ve done better than I probably would if she hadn’t talked to me. We’ve talked a few more times in my dreams. I look forward to our next date.

I tell people when a spouse or loved one passes away that they will have this dream. It’s real and you will remember it. Watch for the signs, they will always be there watching over you and communicating in some way.

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4 responses to “Mom’s Dream

  1. I don’t know if I ever told you this. I was at the dentist about a year after the event and he laid the gas on too heavy. I was on the way out. For good, I think. Then she appeared to me, just her face, and she was repeatedly telling me to wake up. As I came to, the dentist and his assistant were standing over me, frantically trying to wake me up.

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